Confessions of a Basement Inspector: The Weirdest Things We've Found

  Alright, gather 'round, folks, and pull up a virtual chair. You might think being a basement inspector for Woods Basement Systems is all about damp concrete, rusty pipes, and the occasional spider. And you'd be mostly right! But every now and then, our job takes a delightfully strange turn. When you spend your days venturing into the hidden underbellies of Collinsville homes, you stumble upon some truly… unique discoveries. We've seen it all, from the mildly peculiar to the downright bewildering.

So, buckle up, because here are a few tales from the subterranean trenches that might just make you laugh out loud (and perhaps glance nervously at your own basement door).

There was the time our inspector opened a crawl space hatch to find it wasn't just damp and dusty, but clearly serving as a high-end bachelor pad for a very particular raccoon. This guy had his own little nest of shredded newspapers, a collection of shiny bottle caps, and what appeared to be a half-eaten gourmet dog biscuit. He gave our inspector a look that clearly said, "Can I help you?" We politely informed the homeowner of their discerning tenant, and once our crawl space encapsulation was complete, Mr. Raccoon was gently encouraged to find a new, less luxurious residence.

Then there was the basement where the homeowner had, for reasons still unknown, decided to store every single piece of exercise equipment they had ever owned. Picture a room-sized graveyard of stationary bikes, neglected treadmills, dusty dumbbells, and a Pilates reformer that looked like it had seen better days. The owner sheepishly admitted they intended to turn the space into a home gym, but the pervasive musty smell and constant dampness made it less "motivating fitness zone" and more "swampy equipment cemetery." We brought in our basement waterproofing magic, and last we heard, the treadmill might actually be getting some use.

One memorable inspection involved a foundation crack that was, shall we say, artfully decorated. A homeowner, clearly with more optimism than structural engineering knowledge, had tried to patch a significant foundation crack with brightly colored children's modeling clay. Not just one color, mind you, but a vibrant rainbow mosaic. While aesthetically bold, it wasn't quite holding back the soil pressure. We had to gently explain that while we appreciated the artistic effort, our foundation repair methods, though less colorful, were significantly more effective at keeping walls stable.

And finally, the case of the disappearing patio. We arrived at a home where a lovely backyard patio had developed an alarming slope, causing the outdoor grill to lean dramatically and any attempts at al fresco dining to resemble a ship caught in a storm. The homeowner joked that their patio was "training for the Olympics" in downhill sliding. Turns out, soil erosion beneath the concrete was the culprit. Our PolyLevel® concrete repair team came in, and with a surprisingly quick and clean process, lifted the patio back to its proper, level glory. Now, their BBQ grill stands tall and proud, and their dessert no longer attempts to stage a grand escape.

These stories, as wild as they sound, often underscore a serious point: when your home's unseen areas have problems, they can manifest in surprisingly strange (and sometimes funny) ways. But behind every quirky find is usually a very real issue that can affect your home's safety, health, and value.

So, while we enjoy the occasional laugh, our main mission at Woods Basement Systems is to turn those homeowner hurdles into smooth, stable solutions. No matter what peculiar situation your basement, crawl space, foundation, or concrete has gotten itself into, we're here to help. And hey, if you've got a weird basement story of your own, we'd love to hear it – after we've made your space dry and secure, of course!