Ask the Foundation: A Dear Abby Column from the Bedrock of Your Home
Welcome, homeowners, to my new column. It's not every day a foundation gets to share its wisdom, but after decades of quietly supporting you, I figured it was time to speak up. I've heard your footsteps, felt your anxieties, and listened to your pipes groan. So, if you've got questions about those strange noises, smells, or cracks, ask away. Consider me your home's most honest (and stable) advisor.
Dear Foundation,
My walls are starting to feel a little wobbly, and I'm seeing new cracks appear in my brickwork. Should I be concerned? My friends say it's just the house "settling," but it's making me a little nervous.
—Sincerely, Nervous Neighbor
Dear Nervous Neighbor,
"Settling" is a nice way of saying I'm getting a little tired. While a few small hairline cracks are part of growing old, large or stair-step cracks are my way of telling you that I'm under a lot of stress. I'm working hard to hold everything up, but the soil around me might be expanding or shrinking, and I'm feeling the pressure.
Your friends mean well, but it's time to get a professional opinion. A little check-up now is a lot better than a full-blown crisis later. Don't worry, with a little support (like some of those great wall braces from Woods Basement Systems), I'll be back to my strong and silent self in no time.
Dear Foundation,
I've been hearing this weird gurgling noise coming from the basement. It sounds like a ghost is trying to get out of a drain. What gives?
—Sincerely, Spooked in St. Louis
Dear Spooked in St. Louis,
Don’t worry, it’s not a ghost. That’s probably just the sump pump. Think of it as my little water-fighting hero, but sometimes it gets a bit dramatic. The gurgling you hear is usually just water getting pumped out, which is a good thing! It means the system is working. However, if the gurgling turns into a struggling groan or if it’s running when it shouldn’t be, it’s a sign my little friend might need a tune-up. A hero is only as good as its gear!
Dear Foundation,
My basement has a certain… “eau de mildew.” My husband says it's just a basement thing. Is he right?
—Sincerely, Smelling Trouble
Dear Smelling Trouble,
I'm afraid your husband is incorrect. That "eau de mildew" is my cry for help. A basement should not smell like a damp old sock. That scent is a clear sign that I'm holding onto too much moisture, which is the perfect breeding ground for mold and mildew. This is a very serious matter because that funky air doesn’t stay down here—it rises through the house and into your lungs!
Tell your husband to stop making excuses and get me a proper dehumidifier. A healthy foundation is a dry foundation, and a dry foundation makes for a much happier, healthier home for everyone.